I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
This house was built for laser tag.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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