best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
