I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
