did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
