mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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