Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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