Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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