I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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