she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
