Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
