O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
