Define "chronic" masturbator.
thus making me awesome and them whores
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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