she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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