she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
