Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
