I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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