WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
