I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
