That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
