i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
