my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
