who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
