just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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