too bad you live with your parents still
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
