she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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