i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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