rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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