Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
