I cockslap morals
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
