Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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