I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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