Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
