I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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