I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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