I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
