watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
