Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
