I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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