i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
