Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
