My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
