We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
