My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
