I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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