Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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