You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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