to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
