She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize