I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize