You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
