So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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