at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
id be glad to
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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