Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just found a bag of teeth...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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