I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
