Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's never too late to be topless.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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