By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I'm really busy with my period
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