uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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