i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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