I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
If I die, sorry about rent.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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