is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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