oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
